Rollover Tipping Point

Last night on my way to tennis I was about to get on the connector road to Route 10 when I saw a backup. No car was moving. Thankfully I knew and had access to a route that would add a few minutes to the drive but would avoid being late.

As I headed up the ramp I saw what caused the traffic jam. There in the middle of the highway was a car completely flipped over surrounded by at least six emergency vehicles and lots of uniformed fire and police officers. I hoped those in the car were alive and wondered if the car had hit black ice, had been speeding, had swerved to avoid something on the road, or some other reason.

It was hard to grumble about having to sit through traffic lights that changed too quickly, drivers clearly on their phones not paying attention to the light, and frequent stops after seeing the accident.

I was reminded it was just over a year ago I’d seen another rollover car that clearly had happened only minutes before. As I recall there had been a glaze of frost/ice on the road then. I seem to recall the driver had survived and I hoped for the same outcome.

When I got to tennis I had about 4 minutes to change from winter gear to tennis attire, and I changed quickly and joined my court on time. One member of our foursome wasn’t there. I also noticed one of the other doubles’ court was had a member missing. I wondered if they were caught in traffic.

It turned out they were. The guy on my court had been stuck and eventually was redirected around the accident and made it about 10 minutes later. He hadn’t seen the car though. We settled into playing, but I couldn’t help but notice that the other court still was missing a player.

About five minutes later he showed up. I saw who it was.

He’s a good tennis player but I refer to him in my mind as a perfectionist with a flair. That fits well since he’s a talented retired music professor. He’s never late, and he walked on the court and was clearly flustered. I could tell even from two courts away.

I returned my focus to my match, reveling in the opportunity to move, to play, and enjoy the company of the guys I was playing with. I had suspected one guy who lived in Massachusetts east of Providence might have been caught in the traffic, but when I asked if he had seen the accident he said he came a completely different direction.

He was chuckling as he said this. I looked at him and his grin got bigger. “I’m living in Taunton 95% of the time. It’s really happening.” Then he shook his head, and I laughed.

“I hope it goes well,” I told him. “I like her too.”

“So far, so good,” he smiled.

Tennis proceeded. I was enjoying myself, moving well, hitting well.

Then we heard loud voices. The court with the perfectionist had people yelling at each other. We all stopped. Occasionally, there’s a dispute over line calls that gets people mad. It’s happened before. And it usually blows over.

It wasn’t happening tonight. The perfectionist after a yell walked over to his tennis bag, put his racquet away, and walked off the court, people yelling at him not to leave. He was having none of it, and he opened the door to the lobby and stormed out.

On my court we all looked at each other. But the yelling didn’t stop. Now the remaining three people were loud about his leaving, and I could hear someone say, “He didn’t have to leave it was only al line call.”

It was never only a line call.

We shook our heads, but my friend asked why people got so upset. I said I suspected he had seen the accident and it shook him. I knew without hesitation being late really bothered him. I suspect being questioned on a line call perhaps more than once was just too much, a bridge too far.

A few minutes later the charming woman who works the front desk came out and engaged the guys in conversation. I had no doubts she was helping them de-escalate the intensity and make sense of it. She talked to them for a few minutes. Her presence had immediately lowered the volume and temperature.

Eventually, we finished the match and our time. I gathered my things and left the court. I headed for the front desk to get a towel to shower.

Diana looked up as I walked to get one. “I could have gotten that for you,” she apologized.

“You had to do a lot of the ministry I do,” I said. “It helped. Things got quieter.”

She nodded. “He had called me about half an hour before he was supposed to play saying he was stuck in traffic.”

I told her I had been able to avoid it, but that I had seen the car upside down. Diana said he had told her he had seen the car too and couldn’t imagine how anyone survived.

“Let’s hope the passengers did. I have no doubt though he left because he just got overwhelmed—seeing the accident, being late, his need to get everything right—” Diana laughed knowingly, “and then the contention on court was all too much.”

She nodded. “That’s what I told the guys. How would you not be overwhelmed?”

I smiled. “They should have asked you to finish the match with them.”

Her face glowed. “I know. I wish they had.”

“You could have borrowed one of my racquets you’ve wanted to test.” She laughed.

Later, as I came out of the shower, Bill who was on the contentious court came into the locker room. He looked at me and shook his head. “Drama,” he said wryly.

“Line calls?” I asked.

“Yes,” Bill nodded. “He made a couple of questionable ones but so what?”

“I bet the questioning of his line calls passed his tipping point. He might have stayed had it not been for being late and seeing a serious accident.”

I don’t generally think cause and effect is right. I believe more often multiple causes lead to multiple effects. Rarely are our lives so linear.

Life is cumulative, circular, and layered. We often judge what happens by a single story but rarely is story linear or isolated. More often it’s complicated.

When someone “snaps”, when change happens, more often than not a tipping point, as author Malcolm Gladwell has told us for decades, has been reached.

I’d see this in congregational life when someone would tell me a valued member left the church and named the cause. I would always suggest it was never just the cause, that was the tipping point and the reason they were most upset about at the moment. And even then, it might be less about the actual issue and as much about the loss of control, not getting their way.

This is even truer when emotions run high.

I hope (and suspect) we’ll see the guy who left back next week. Or he may have reached a tipping point. Time will tell.

I have been watching local news and checked the local newspaper. As bad as the accident appeared, the 11 pm news, the early morning news, the noontime news, and the newspaper have not covered the accident. That has made me breathe easier since they always seem to cover fatalities or serious injuries, though it’s hardly a definitive answer.

Sometimes we just have to wait to learn what’s really going on.